Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides

Captain Jack Sparrow finds himself on a quest to help a woman from his past named Angelica find the Fountain of Youth. But they are not the only ones pursuing this fabled treasure, and Jack must use all of his wits to not only find the fountain, but survive the likes of his old nemesis Barbossa, the Spanish, and Blackbeard.

If there was one thing most fans would expect from this fourth installment of the Pirates series, it was that Johnny Depp would once again provide a memorable/hilarious performance as the lovable Captain Jack Sparrow. Unfortunately, his Sparrow this time around was tired and haggard, much like the film itself. There were still bits and spurts of the usual Sparrow-esque hilarity but Depp looked weary and restrained, simply going through the motions in order to cash another large check from the Disney company. The rest of the cast failed to add any sort of noteworthy turn (the chemistry between Depp and Penelope Cruz was non-existent and Ian McShane's Blackbeard was never given the chance to do anything but stare menacingly at the other actors) and, quite frankly, the presences of Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley were sorely missed. The story was a convoluted mess that tried too hard to be as clever as any of the three previous films but even if it succeeded in grabbing the audience's attention, the characters were so lifeless and uninteresting no one in said audience would care about what was happening on the screen. Oddly enough a movie about pirates was missing naval battles, it was also lacking in time spent by the characters on actual boats. While there were a couple of solid action pieces sprinkled throughout the film (the most intense and exhilarating of which was the mermaid attack on the crew, the mermaids in the "Pirates" universe are a whole lot scarier than any other mermaid one has been exposed to), a naval battle or two would have added some more excitement, which this fourth installment seemed to be lacking.

If you are a completest and have already seen the first three Pirates films, chances are you will be able to find Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides somewhat watchable but everyone else would be wise to stay away from this lackluster sequel.

Grade: C-

Attack the Block: (or not)

When a group of extraterrestrials invades a South London neighborhood, a teen gang decides to take up arms in order to fight them. But they soon learn that this is a task that is easier said than done.

Attack the Block certainly put a different spin on the alien invasion film, showing the audience what would happen if aliens invaded the "wrong part" of South London but it's too bad the members of the teen gang that decided to take them on was such a group of unlikable characters that "Attack" never amounted to anything other than a daft waste of time. Moses, Pest, Biggz and the rest of the bunch were the kind of kids that you hope your own children never turned out to be. They smoked weed, cursed and were always in troubled with the law, as such only 16 to 18 year old boys could relate to them while the rest of the audience found them to be vulgar and boorish. When the audience cannot relate to or emotionally connect with the protagonists of the film, then it really just becomes an exercise of watching the clock and hoping the film ends sooner rather than later so they get on to more interesting things (as it was with this film).

Obnoxious characters, flat jokes and an insipid story are what you can expect if you decide to watch Attack the Block.

Grade: D

Drive: Buckle up for one hell of a ride!

A mysterious man known only as Driver works as a Hollywood stuntman by day and a getaway driver at night. His isolated life is interrupted when he falls for his new neighbor and is further complicated when his boss indirectly gets him involved with some shady characters.

Drive is one of those films you either love or hate, there is no in between. Those that hate it will point to the lack of sustained action, lack of an abundance of dialogue and an unsatisfying ending as the reasons for their dislike. They feel as though the film is unworthy of the hype that has been put upon it by critics. However these detractors are missing the things that make Drive worth that hype and definitely worth at least one viewing.

First, there is action, and plenty of it! Director Nicolas Winding Refn did not overwhelm the audience with fist-fights and multi-car pile ups, but used what action was there to punctuate the story of Driver (yes, that is the name of Ryan Gosling's character). Next there was the dialogue and acting. Winding Refn was able to let his actors grow into their roles, giving them a depth that most action thriller characters sorely lack. And while it is true that critical parts of the movie could be considered dialogue-lite, the performances by Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Albert Brooks and the rest of the cast were spot on and effective, giving the audience more than enough to emotionally invest in what was taking place on screen. Also, there is something to be said about how less might be more in regards to dialogue. Too often, it seems, filmmakers choose to inundate the audience with an overabundance of dialogue when two or three lines are more efficient. An example of this in Drive was near the end of the film when Driver called Irene to confess his feelings for her. Rather than laying on the full blown uber-sweet romantic drivel so readily employed by most filmmakers, Winding Rifn and screenwriter Hossein Amini kept it simple and honest (and they kept that bit of dialogue to two or three lines). The affect was more heart-wrenching than anything a long two minutes of fluff could produce. Finally, there were the foreign film sensibilities Winding Rifn imbued in the film. Scenes were allowed to develop rather than being jammed down the audiences throat with no rhyme nor reason to them and each shot was so full of meaning and metaphor that one just wanted to keep watching. Director of Photography Newton Thomas Sigel was able to give the movie a distinct look (glossy, 1980's slick are the best phrases to describe it) that added to its overall appeal.

Drive was a unique take on the action thriller, a film which was not afraid to bypass some of the tired conventions of the genre in order to give the audience a smart, artsy, thrilling rush of a ride.

Grade: A

Contagion: You will want to wash your hands after this one!

As  a deadly outbreak of an infectious disease threatens to annihilate mankind a global team of doctors and scientists struggle to not only discover where the disease came from, but also how to stop it.

The first half of Contagion leaves one absolutely petrified. Director Steven Soderbergh essentially dropped the audience right into the action as they are introduced to Beth Emhoff (Gwyneth Paltrow), barely given the chance to know who she is or anything about her before she experiences a seizure and dies from the mysterious disease which subsequently starts taking lives all over the world. It was the cold, almost documentary-like style in which Soderbergh shot this, and the realistic reactions taken by the men and women of the various health organizations (a cadre of mega movie stars including Laurence Fishburne, Kate Winslet and others), that could not help but send shivers down the audience member's spines (and have them reaching for a bottle of Purell, as they remembered all the things they touched the last time they were in public). Soderbergh was able to leverage the audience's own fears of a virus like the one in the film possibly appearing in real life and utilized it to  make that first half of the film more horrifying than any slasher film Hollywood has put out in a long time.

It was in the last half of the film when Contagion seemed to loose steam as the plots and sub-plots wore the narrative too thin, pulling the audience in too many different directions. There was no way that the suspense and terror so readily available in the first part of the film could have been sustained for the entire running time but it almost felt like, after a certain point, Soderbergh and screenwriter Scott Z. Burns decided to stop pressing on driving the important parts of the story such as the cure being administered to the survivors as well as the how and whys as to the origin of the virus (the origin was explained/shown but almost as an afterthought near the conclusion of the film) and tried to tie up all of the uninteresting/unimportant threads of the story.

For a good hour or so Contagion gave one an all too realistic look at the world should it ever face a viral epidemic, it's just a shame it could not provide a worthy conclusion to that terrifying start.

Grade: C+

Rise of the Planet of the Apes: Get your stinkin paws on a copy of this movie!

Dr. Will Rodman is attempting to find a cure for Alzheimer's disease. One of the chimpanzees who is exposed to the drug shows an incredible amount of human - like intelligence and emotion, so Will raises him like he was his own child. He is named Cesar and he lives peacefully with Will until he is taken from him and sent to an ape sanctuary. It is there that he is exposed to the inhumane treatment his fellow primates receive, so he formulates a plan to not only help them all escape, but rise up against their human captors.

Prequels are never easy to make (just ask George Lucas). A prequel not only has to acknowledge and pay homage to the original film, but also present its own compelling story to fall in line with that of the original. The original Planet of the Apes (not the 2001 remake by Tim Burton, which was a mistake on a number of levels) carved out a niche for itself as a sci-fi classic, as well as creating a loyal fan base, due to its imaginative story - telling, an extremely quotable leading man in Charlton Heston (even if you have not seen the movie, you are no doubt aware of lines such as "take your stinking paws off me you damn, dirty ape") and ground-breaking makeup effects which made the talking apes believable. This meant that director Rupert Wyatt, James Franco and the rest of the cast and crew of "Rise" had quite a task in front of them but thankfully, for fans and regular film - goers, they were more than ready and created a film that not only does right by the original Planet of the Apes but holds its own.

The story revolved around how Will was trying to find a cure for Alzheimer's (a disease that was afflicting his father Charles). To that end, he experimented on chimpanzees, one of which (with a name that fans of the series will recognize) has a child that Will adopts and raises as his own after she dies. If handled incorrectly, this story could have devolved into a cliched summer action film which would have concentrated more on the destruction and chaos caused by the primates as opposed to the intelligent and thought - provoking film it was. Wyatt took the time to build the story, as well as the characters, allowing the audience the chance to get to know Cesar and empathize with him as he faced emotionally situations. It also helped that the gentleman playing Cesar (Andy Serkis) was able to provide so much emotion in his performance. Serkis is the same guy who breathed life into Gollum and King Kong but this performance has to be considered his finest. Add to that the spectacular finale, which featured the primates ripping up downtown San Francisco as well as the Golden Gate Bridge, and Rise of the Planet of the Apes turned out to be one of those rare prequels that came close to topping the original.

Grade: B+

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark: Don't be afraid of this movie!

Sally moves into a new house with her father Alex and his girlfriend Kim. Shortly thereafter, she begins to hear noises and learns that they are not the only ones in the house. But are these other inhabitants friendly or evil?

For a film that was supposed to be thrilling and/or suspenseful, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark certainly failed to be either. The story, which was based upon a 1973 made for television movie of the same name that apparently haunted Producer and Screenwriter Guillermo del Toro so much that he had to help remake it, focused on a family dealing with a group of bizarre creatures (fairies perhaps as the film was never too clear on the origin of the nasty little things) that threatened to destroy them. But the members of the family were so bland or annoying that the audience could not get involved in their stories. Katie Holmes was somewhat believable and likable as Kim, the new girlfriend who was trying to win over Sally, but her performance was not enough to lift the whole film beyond dismal. And then there were the creatures, who did not strike fear into the audience and seemed more silly than vicious. Plus Kim, Alex and Sally never took, what would have been, the easiest action in order to defeat the creatures (kick the damn things, they're smaller than you are!)

You should be afraid of this film for if you watch it, you will have wasted an hour and forty minutes of your life.

Grade: D

Cowboys and Aliens

Amnesiac gunslinger Jake Lonergan stumbles into the town of Absolution where he not only runs afoul of the man who runs the town, Colonel Woodrow Dolarhyde, but also a group of invading aliens who are intent upon destroying everyone. Jake must rally together the people of Absolution in order to save them from destruction.

Strangely enough a film about cowboys and aliens featured a story line similar to the alien invasion action film Independence Day. In both, different groups of people (for this film gunslingers, criminals, Native Americans, regular folks, etc.) must learn to overcome their differences and fight together to defeat an invading extraterrestrial force whose purpose for trying to conquer earth was vague at best (in this film the aliens were mining the earth for a precious metal, who knew gold was in such demand throughout the universe). Both films also featured enough action to keep the audience mildly interested and engaged. Where Cowboys differed was in the big names that led its cast. Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford should have been able to provide stellar enough performances as Jake and Woodrow (respectively) to make the film something beyond a prototypical summer popcorn flick full of sound and fury but representing nothing. Ford certainly delivered, his Dolarhyde was an atypical anti-heroic turn that showed he could play a character unlike those people are accustomed to seeing him play. Craig's Jake however was hampered by a script overwrought with explosions and missing chances for him to emotionally stretch in any direction. In the end, he was all grunts or hard looks and never became someone the audience could connect with. The rest of the cast did not add much value (although Olivia Wilde was stunning as the mysterious Ella), the story stammered and stuttered as it tried to combine multiple subplots and never hit its stride and the aforementioned ending where the different groups of people banded together to fight the aliens felt hokey and forced.

Dig a little beyond the big name stars and overwhelming action and you'll find that Cowboys and Aliens was nothing more than an average comic book to film adaptation.

Grade: C 

Green Lantern: An underwhelming adventure

Hal Jordan is a hotshot test pilot who always lives life on the edge. His life is forever changed however after he is chosen to join an intergalactic group of warriors known as the Green Lantern Corps. While he struggles with the demands of being a superhero an evil force gains strength and threatens to destroy not only Earth, but the universe.

There was a chance here for the Green Lantern to be another one of those successful comic book adaptations much in the same vein as Captain America, Iron Man, etc. Hal Jordan was a complex character who, although bestowed the awesome powers of the Lantern Ring, struggled with his own personal demons of fear and tenacity. His story had the opportunity to show the audience that terrific powers can only help one so much, that it takes the will of a person to see things through in brightest day or in blackest night.

Unfortunately the script failed to give the film a consistent flow, juggling too many subplots and characters and simply not keeping the audience mentally engaged with anything on the screen other than the elaborate action sequences which were not all that great. The perfect example of this was the final showdown between Hal and the main villain of the film (Parallax), which was anti-climatic and unsatisfying given the build up of Parallax's powers and abilities as well as the power of Hal's Ring. Ryan Reynolds tried his best to make Hal not only cocky but accessible and vulnerable but he was (again) hamstrung by the script, which gave all of the characters in the film the individual emotional depth found in the characters of a SyFy made for tv movie. Director Martin Campbell only seemed interested in making sure the CGI looked good and also ignored the chance to present the audience with a story that would accentuate the action.

Green Lantern was an underwhelming excursion into the DC comic book universe.

Grade: C-

Horrible Bosses: Good for a few laughs

Nick, Dale and Kurt are all miserable at their jobs thanks in large part to their bosses. One night, after drinking heavily, they come up with a plan to eliminate them. They even go so far as to hire a murder consultant to help them go through with the evil deeds, but will they?

Taking its cue from the Alfred Hitchcock classic Strangers on a Train (or the Danny DeVito classic Throw Mama from the Train if you believe Dale), Horrible Bosses attempted to give the audience a comedic look at three guys trying to enact the ultimate scenario for those people that cannot stand their boss. Most of the laughs in the film were provided by those horrible bosses, which included Kevin Spacey, Colin Farrell (who did not get nearly enough screen time as Kurt's cracked out boss Bobby) and Jennifer Aniston. Aniston in particular was hilarious as Dale's maneater of a boss Julia for the character was so unlike the "good girl" character she usually plays that every nasty comment that came out of her mouth (and trust me, there were a lot of them) was all the more shocking and funny. Jason Bateman and Charlie Day pitched in with some comedic gems of their own (Jason Sudeikis was just as slimy and unlikable as his boss Farrell) but the film failed to be anything more than a mean-spirited comedy with little to offer beyond its last gross-out gag or sexually charged line from Aniston.

This is not a bad thing, sometimes it's nice to just turn off one's mind and giggle at the insanity happening on screen but if you are looking for a comedy with layers and depth, Horrible Bosses is not the film for you.

Grade: C 

Fast Five: A satisfying sequel!

After Brian and Mia break Dom out of prison they try to stay one step ahead of the law. This eventually leads them to Rio de Janeiro where they run afoul of a powerful local drug lord named Reyes. In order to gain their freedom and stop Reyes from hunting them, they need to pull one last job. Little do they know that even as they assemble their team a hard nosed federal agent named Luke Hobbs is on their tail, looking to capture them.

When a film series hits its fifth installment, chances are it is so much like the previous films, in characters, story and actions, that it boarders on ridiculousness and cliche (see the Friday the 13th, Halloween and Nightmare on Elm Street series for examples of this). In light of this, it is shocking that The Fast and Furious franchise has reached a fifth film, given the fact that all of the subsequent sequels to the 2001 original have been lacking in originality and entertainment.

So why should you check out Fast Five? For starters, the action was intense and constant. Not only were there the expected car chases/stunt sequences (the most insane of which involved Dom and Brian tearing up the streets of Rio with the bad guy's safe in the finale) but a number of fight sequences that were unusually effective. Beyond the sequences that most action fans were hoping to see in the film what helped to set this sequel apart from its predecessors was the story and characters. Director Justin Lin did well to make sure they satisfied the conventions that fans of the series were expecting while, at the same time, expanding upon those conventions and characters so that Fast Five was not just another brainless retread. Framing the story around the caper that Dom, Brian and the rest of team were trying to pull not only allowed for some Ocean's Eleven type caper action, but also for the cast (including a number of familiar faces from the previous films) to provide some memorable performances that made their characters easy for the audience to connect with. Add to that an absolutely show-stopping performance by Dwayne Johnson as Luke Hobbs (the parts where he and Diesel squared off were epic) and you can start to see why this sequel merits at least one viewing.

Taken for the good old fashioned popcorn action flick it is meant to be, Fast Five was a satisfying sequel with plenty of action but also surprising depth of character and story.

Grade: B