Zack and Miri Make a Porno: That's right, a movie about a porno

If there is one director whose films I will rush out to see no questions asked, it would have to be Kevin Smith. Somehow his profanity-laced, pop culture referencing comedies connect with me and not only make me roll on the floor laughing my butt off, but also make me take stock of human relationships and all of those things (good and bad) that affect them. And while his latest film, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, delivers on the laughs, the deeper emotional touchtones are missing.

Zack and Miri are best friends who are struggling to get by. But after a fortuitous meeting at their 10 year high school reunion they come up with a plan to solve their financial issues, they'll make a porno. However they both discover that once the camera starts rolling, things become a little more complicated than they expected.

Some people become nervous when they hear the word "porno" in a film title and while there is a fair amount of nudity and sexual situations in "Zack and Miri" that should not prevent one from checking it out. In fact, Smith used the "staged" sex scenes between Lester (the always hilarious Jason Mewes) and Stacey as a counterpoint to the tender, more personal sex scene between Zack and Miri. It's obvious that Lester and Stacey were simply playing parts in a film so their sex scenes become almost comical whereas Zack and Miri, while trying to convince themselves that it was all for the movie, had deeper emotions attached to the act. Speaking of those two, Seth Rogen (Zack) and Elizabeth Banks (Miri) shared a great chemistry on screen. Their dynamic relationship propelled the story and their discussions (on subjects ranging from the proper title for their porno to the differences between male and female sex toys) were hilarious. More hilarious than those two however was Justin Long as Brandon St. Randy, the catalyst that inspired Zack to his pornographic business plan. All the character benefitted from the script which contained the type of dialogue Kevin Smith is known for.

Where the movie failed was in getting the audience completely invested in Zack and Miri's romance. Their actions and reactions after the on-screen tryst, as well as their prior personal history needed to be expanded upon. Yes, they have been best friends since elementary school, so how about some flashbacks to key moments in that friendship where romance which could have blossomed was cut short. Not only was their relationship mishandled but the ending felt rushed and almost too easy. It seemed as though Smith (or, more likely, the studio) just gave up after an hour and a half and plopped down the ending they thought everyone in the audience would like to see.

Still, Zack and Miri Make a Porno provided the kinds of laughs few comedies deliver anymore.

Grade: B

The Haunting in Connecticut: A not so scary trip

For some, there's nothing better than popping in a scary movie on a Friday night and seeing if it's creepy enough to make them check under their bed bfore they turn off the lights. Unfortunately, it is rare to find scary movies like that anymore because most, including The Haunting in Connecticut, have a hard time even keeping an audience entertained.

After her son Matthew is diagnosed with cancer, Sara decides to move him and the rest of her family up to Connecticut so he can be closer to the hospital for treatment. Soon after moving into their new house though strange things start happening, and the family begins to wonder if their new home is haunted.

Having previously read about the true events which inspired this movie, it was rather disappointing to see the "Hollywood spin" which was grafted upon the story of the Campbell family, but even audience members unaware of the real life events are likely to find the film both repetitive and commonplace when viewed against most recently released horror films. It's true that there were some effective jumps and scares scattered throughout but not enough to make one check their closets before saying good night. It seemed as though that instead of drawing upon the true experiences the real life family went through, and showing how those events affected their relationships as well as the paranormal vs. religious questions the incidents raised, screenwriters Adam Simon and Tim Metcalfe decided to turn the film into something preposterously mundane that has been done to death in the horror genre. The result was a messy story which tried, and failed, to be effectively scary or even entertaining on a regular basis.

However if you're desperate for a few cheap scares on a dark and stormy Friday night then The Haunting in Connecticut just might be able to help you out.

Grade: D

Watchmen: So how complex do you like your superhero movies?

When you hear the words, "comic book adaptation" the first images that probably pop into your head are of Spider-Man swinging on a web or Batman brooding on a dark rooftop. The last thing on your mind would be images of heroes philosophizing on how the world is not worth saving or those same heroes discussing the need to sacrifice a few in order to save the many. But this was the case with Watchmen

In an alternate universe, one in which Richard Nixon is still President and the Cold War between the U.S. and USSR still threatens to destroy the world, masked heroes are being murdered. It is up to the remaining members of the superhero group known as the Watchmen to figure out why this is happening.

Director Zack Snyder (of "300" fame) was very faithful in keeping to the source material (a graphic novel) in bringing the story of Nite Owl, Silk Spectre and all the rest of the characters to the screen. His trademark visual style was certainly on display as the audience was treated to the same kind of slow-motion, stylized action sequences present in 300 as well as some truly breathtaking scenes (i.e. Nite Owl and Silk Spectre kissing as a nuclear blast envelopes them). These heroes were far from being carbon copies of ones who came before them as time was spent building up their backstories. By doing this, the audience was shown all the moral dilemmas each Watchmen faced as they struggled in making sense of their own lives both professionally and personally.

But therein lies the catch - 22 of Watchmen, how many audience members are willing to sit through an almost 3 hour film in which the action sequences seem few and far between when compared against a Spider-Man or Batman film? The universe that the Watchmen inhabited certainly was not for the faint of heart (kinda made Gotham City look like Beverly Hills) as the heroes killed indiscriminately, fought amongst each other, and seemed to blur the line between good guy and psycho vigilante from time to time (especially Rorschach). In this way the film challenged the audience to think beyond their normal expectations for a comic book movie and take a journey in which the greatest accomplishments of its heroes were not the apprehension of supervillians or the simple battle of good vs. evil, but the philosophical breakthroughs made when the hero realizes that the world is not pure black and white but a shade of gray which can grow lighter or darker depending upon where you are standing morally.

Watchmen just might be the most literate comic book movie you're likely to run across, which might enthrall some but discourage others.

Grade: B-

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest; When too much of something is a bad thing.

Captain Jack Sparrow is in trouble (again). It’s time for him to repay the blood debt he owes to the evil Davy Jones. In order to save himself, he goes searching for the Dead Man’s Chest, the only thing that can stop Jones and the rest of his bloodthirsty crew aboard the Flying Dutchman. But he cannot find it by himself, so enlists the aide of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann to help him (even though they have problems of their own).

As with the first Pirates, Dead Man’s Chest contained a terrific blend of dazzling action pieces; the three way sword fight between Jack, Will and Norrington as well as Jack’s escape from cannibals have to be seen to be believed, and enough goofy shtick to make everyone happy. Using another famous middle part of a trilogy as its model (it did remind one of The Empire Strikes Back in its structure, plus there’s even a visit to a mystic in a swamp for god’s sake), Dead Man’s Chest furthered the story of Captain Jack, Will, Elizabeth and the rest, introduced some new wrinkles into the Pirates universe and set up the finale nicely as the audience was left with unanswered questions. The star of the film, of course, was Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack. Director Gore Verbinski did right by letting Depp run wild again and the result was nothing short of jovial absurdity no audience member could resist.

However, there was an inferiority present in the pacing of the film and its story telling which made it harder to sit and digest this film in comparison to the first one. With so many characters and sub-plots to introduce and explore it was only natural that Dead Man’s Chest would run for over two and a half hours, unfortunately some of those things Verbinski and the screenwriters put up on screen were totally unnecessary (Will meeting up with his father while he was in the clutches of Davy Jones for example). While we’re on the subject of the villain of the piece, his design was uniquely intriguing, however the rest of his minions looked like rejected villains from bad Saturday morning cartoons (or distant cousins of Jar Jar Binks). All of the action and jokes one expected with the film were present, but Dead Man’s Chest lacked the spirited fun so prevalent in The Curse of the Black Pearl.

Grade: B-

Letters From Iwo Jima: A stunning achievement

War films are another one of those Hollywood genres which tend to follow very well - worn patterns when it comes to plot, action and characters. We, as American, are used to seeing the American experiences on the battlefield and are usually only shown the cruelty of our enemy. But Letters From Iwo Jima challenges those conventions and presents the audience with the story from the other side of those battle lines.

As the Allied forces prepare to storm the beaches of Iwo Jima, Japanese General Tadamichi Kuribayashi and his troops know they are facing staggering odds. With a limited amount of time and resources, all of the Japanese troops realize that the impending fight just might be their last.

How is it that Mr. Dirty Harry, Clint Eastwood, was able to create such a stirring and devastatingly emotional war film about the Japanese experience during the famous World War II fight? He humanized the Japenese solider and gave the normally faceless enemy, (at least in most American made war films), soldiers names and stories, Western audiences are only used to experiencing war through the eyes of an American soldier but by doing this, he opened the audiences' eyes to the insanity that is war and the trials that all sides face. Eastwood also broke standard war film tradition by showing the loosing side of war and all of the chaos, loss and mourning they had to work through. This served to, again, humanize a normally cliched set of characters. To see the depth to which the Japanese went to in order to stave off the enemy, including a terrifyingly realistic scene in which some soldiers committed suicide via grenade to avoid capture, was remarkable and fell into sharp contrast with the way Westerners view warfare. One came away feeling a great respect for the Japanese soldiers’ plight and, hopefully, a deeper desire to make sure destructive conflicts such as World War II never happen again. As the companion piece to Flags of Our Fathers, Letters from Iwo Jima carried a heavy burden of trying to match or surpass it in emotional resonance and overall magnificence, a task which it achieved in stunning fashion.

Grade: A

Just Friends: Just funny.

Sometimes actors can carry an average film and make it into something more. Just Friends is a good example of this as both Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris turned a standard romantic comedy into a knee - slapping good time.

Chris has had a crush on his friend Jamie since he was an overweight high schooler. Time has passed and now he’s a fit and successful music executive who, upon returning to his hometown, attempts to woo her. But there are a number of obstacles in his way, including his psychotic pop-diva client Samantha and a rival suitor named Dusty.

When a movie succeeds in just makes an audience laugh, its flaws can be overlooked, such was the case in Just Friends whose jokes were non-stop from start to finish. Sure some of the antics could be construed as adolescent and pandering and there were a number of breakdowns in the story, with some plot points became lost altogether (such as Chris’ job and whether or not he was able to keep it or not by the end of the film) but the positives far outweighed the negatives. Besides, it was hard not to laugh when both Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris were on their games acting wise. Faris especially deserves credit for she stole every scene she was in as Samantha (think Britney Spears’ lack of talent and Paris Hiltons’ lack of intelligence). The film contained a surprisingly wistful romance between Chris and Jamie, one that those people stuck in the "friends zone" could relate to. Just Friends was just freakin’ hilarious.

Grade: B

Van Helsing: (or the reason why I'm not going to catch the new G.I. Joe movie)

It was recently brought to my attention that, for the most part, I give high marks to most of the films I review. I guess I've had the good fortune to watch good movies so far but trust me, I do not intend to rubber stamp every film that I run across. By a bizarre coincidence (go figure), the film I'm about to discuss is one of those that deserves to be thrown under the bus. And that's a shame because it's directed by the guy who directed the soon to be release G.I. Joe movie.

Written and directed by the same man, Stephen Sommers, who created The Mummy and The Mummy Returns, Van Helsing is the story of a man without a past who roams the earth ridding it of monsters. After successfully dealing with one, the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde monster, in the beginning Van Helsing and his weapons man Karl are sent to Transylvania to hunt down Dracula and protect a local princess named Anna. Not only does Van Helsing have to deal with Dracula, but his three brides, Frankenstein, Igor, and the Wolf Man as well (I guess the Invisible Man and the Mummy were busy elsewhere and couldn’t get in on the action).

For all the millions of dollars spent on this film one would believe that the special effects would look spectacular, but this is not the case. It’s hard to be scared of monsters that look many pixels short of completion. Sommers ran into this same problem with the effects work in The Mummy Returns but apparently didn’t see fit to tell the effects guys to correct it. There was no coherence to the story. The characters and any kind of backstory or relationships they may have were never really explored due to the time needed for the next bit of action. We are told of Van Helsing’s mission but never really understand why Dracula was doing what he was doing. And any flow the story started to develop was bogged down by big, loud action pieces with bad CGI. Some people, myself included, might object to the misuse of the monsters in the film. Sommers was given free reign to use most of the Universal (movie studio) monsters but never should have been for he twisted the classic characters that most people recognize into bad caricatures. Dracula became some Eurotrash wiener who’d rather do his best Lionel Ritchie impersonation of walking on the ceiling rather than emote evil. One wonders if he’d scare a five year old. Frankenstein was turned into a pontificating wuss. He spent most of his time on screen quoting the Bible or whining about how “all is lost.” It felt as if Sommers had all of these great ideas for action pieces in mind and wanted to get them all into the final cut but he forgot that he needed to have a story that could match his vision. The utter ridiculousness of the story, lousy dialogue and amateurish special effects make this move a big waste of time and one prays that it's not the same for G.I. Joe (but if you've seen the trailer, you're pretty much resigned to the fact that it is).

Grade: D

Annie Hall: I'm no longer bitter.

If you've read this blog for any amount of time you realize that I am a huge Star Wars honk. To that end I was always curious as to why Episode IV did not win the Academy Award for best picture when it was released in 1977. This film, perhaps the best in the Woody Allen canon, took home the Oscar that night and I never understood why, until I watched it.

Comedian Alvy Singer seems to be unlucky at love, till he meets Annie Hall. Soon their relationship begins to grow but like all relationships, must endure some rough spots. But can Alvy and Annie survive these trials and tribulations and stick together for the long haul?

First and foremost, the film was funny. From the first drink that Alvy and Annie shared on a rooftop to his driving experience out in Los Angeles the film kept the audience chuckling throughout. To go along with the humor the film presented a great love story. Alvy and Annie seemed like typical people facing those good and bad times in a relationship that most regular people face. Their story was very accessible and easy to relate to. The way in which the film was presented, going back and forth in time and showing things in a non – linear fashion, made it interesting. It kept the audience more entertained than a straight forward linear film would have. Woody Allen was terrific in the lead role. He was a neurotic comedian that could quip one – liners with the best of them, but also had a serious and caring heart. Diane Keaton’s Annie was the real treat of the film. When she first appeared on screen she was a timid country girl unsure of herself and her abilities (she wanted to be a singer). By the end of the film she had become a modern, independent woman capable of doing anything. Hollywood tries but fails to make films like this nowadays, which makes watching Annie Hall quite a treat.

Grade: A

Big Trouble in Little China: It's all in the reflexes!

There are some movies that you can just throw into the dvd player on a Tuesday night and kick back and enjoy no matter how many times you've seen them. You know all the best one - liners, know when the jumps are going to take place and still, you watch the movie again and again. They're sort of like comfort food, they just make you feel better after your done watching the credits roll for the 372nd time. Big Trouble in Little China is one of these films.

Truck driver Jack Burton is a no-nonsense, take charge kind of guy. However his life takes a strange detour when he goes to visit his friend Wang. After Wang’s fiancée is kidnapped by a group of street thugs and then held prisoner by an evil magician name Lo Pan, Jack must venture into a world of the supernatural to help his buddy rescue his fiancée and defeat the evil Lo Pan.

Kurt Russell’s performance as Jack Burton was the main attraction in the film. Not only was he able to make Jack seem like a legitimate action hero, but he also imbued him with humor and a sense of self-doubt that most normal people would have if they were stuck in his situation. One got the feeling that Jack grew up watching too many John Wayne movies and that he was using those performances by The Duke to help him get through the supernatural world he found himself in. However that world of dark Chinese magic and mysticism became confusing at points and was never clearly explained from the audience. While that never distracted from the film as a whole, it was noticeable. The film was also aided by Russell the great chemistry Russell shared with Kim Cattrall as his Jack and her Gracie Law traded snappy dialogue and provided romantic sparks. The film, which moved at a solid pace, was full of kung fu action, hilarious one liners and had a unique story. Altogether, it was a great piece of entertainment.

Grade: B

Run Lola Run: An international adrenaline rush.

Another lesson I took away from my film classes was that one needed to expand their viewing habits and see what kind of movies the rest of the world had to offer. Sure you might have to deal with subtitles but if the movie is good, like Run Lola Run, you can be entertained none the less.

Time is running out for Lola. After receiving a frantic phone call from her boyfriend Manni, who explained that he lost 100,000 marks of mob money, she has twenty minutes to somehow replace the money or Manni will pay dearly. With the clock ticking, Lola has few options and must choose the right one or watch Manni suffer the consequences.

Rather than having a traditional straight-forward Hollywood type narrative the film featured a unique narrative structure in which multiple possibilities of how Lola and Manni’s story would play out were shown. To go along with its distinctive narrative, the film also featured a rapid pace and non-stop action as Lola fought through numerous obstacles to try and obtain the money. The use of quick cuts and edits as well as a driving soundtrack also kept the film moving at a break neck pace. At the core of the film was the romantic story of the two main characters. Lola, played by the beautiful Franka Potente who played Matt Damon's love interest Marie in the first two Bourne movies, was out to save her Manni no matter what. If she had to move the mountains, rob a store or even talk to her uninterested father, she would. The love they shared for one another was what made the entire plot plausible and no doubt struck a chord with some viewers as they wondered how much they would do for the love of their lives. Run Lola Run was a pure adrenaline rush of entertainment.

Grade: B