Immortals: Not the Sword and Sandal Epic You Were Hoping For

The evil King Hyperion hopes to find an ancient mystical weapon that will help him free the dreaded Titans and overpower the Gods. Standing in his way is Theseus, a mortal man chosen by the Gods to stop him.

In their quest to give the audience the kind of slo-mo, ultra brutal action that helped to make "300" such a memorable film, director Tarsem Singh and the rest of the production team forgot a couple of very important things, namely a viable story and believable characters. The story of Theseus had the chance to be one of inspiration, showing the audience that even a mortal man could make a difference against a great evil. Instead, Tarsem and the screenwriters felt it was more important to simply overwhelm the story with action sequences that were a little too similar to "300" (and not nearly as visceral or thrilling) and a plethora of bland characters. Henry Cavill certainly gave his all in the part of Theseus and made his best efforts to keep the audience interested in what was happening on screen but the rest of the cast was either sadly under-utilized (seriously Freida Pinto could have done so much more than stare longingly at Henry), woefully miscast (Mickey Rourke as a King? Not buying it, even for a second), excessively whiny (Luke Evans played Zeus as if he were a bratty teenager) or were just there to take up space.

By the time the film was over, and all of the visual flair and pseudo-extravagant action had finished, one almost forgot just what Immortals was about for it had no real story or characters, making it just another "300" wannabe.

Grade: D+ 

300: A man's movie.

If ever there were a more perfect example of a "guy's movie" it's hard to figure out what it would be. 300 is an action film that helped to redefine the sword and sandal movie and gave all men everywhere headaches trying to figure out how they could get abs like Leonidas and the rest of the Spartans.

The invading Persian army threatens Sparta and it’s up to King Leonidas and 300 of his bravest warriors to fight them back. They make their final stand at the Battle of Thermopylae in the hopes of not only defeating overwhelming odds, but inspiring their fellow Greeks to fight the impending tyranny of Persian King Xerxes.

The second cinematic incarnation of a work by comic book legend Frank Miller, (the first being the ultra cool, ultra violent Sin City), 300 was a viscerally thrilling action experience full of intense battle sequences, unparalleled environments and testosterone fueled performances led by the star-making one turned in by Gerald Butler. His Leonidas snarled, roared and howled the dialogue and provided enough heart behind what he said to make even the most conventional Patton-esque “fire up the troops” speech believable and rousing. Adding her own powerful punch was Lena Headey as Leonidas’ Queen Gorgo. Far from a wilting flower she held her own in the Sparta political arena as her husband chopped heads on the battlefield, passionately trying to explain that he fought not only for the freedom of Spartans, but all Greeks as well. These performances added some depth to the movie but are bound to be lost amongst some of the most ardent ancient battle sequences ever filmed. Director Zack Snyder did his best Peckinpah impersonation and slowed down parts of the action until they became something of a savage ballet that an audience would find hard not to either get jacked up about or become overwhelmed by. Either way 300 was a cinematic event.

Grade: A-

Watchmen: So how complex do you like your superhero movies?

When you hear the words, "comic book adaptation" the first images that probably pop into your head are of Spider-Man swinging on a web or Batman brooding on a dark rooftop. The last thing on your mind would be images of heroes philosophizing on how the world is not worth saving or those same heroes discussing the need to sacrifice a few in order to save the many. But this was the case with Watchmen

In an alternate universe, one in which Richard Nixon is still President and the Cold War between the U.S. and USSR still threatens to destroy the world, masked heroes are being murdered. It is up to the remaining members of the superhero group known as the Watchmen to figure out why this is happening.

Director Zack Snyder (of "300" fame) was very faithful in keeping to the source material (a graphic novel) in bringing the story of Nite Owl, Silk Spectre and all the rest of the characters to the screen. His trademark visual style was certainly on display as the audience was treated to the same kind of slow-motion, stylized action sequences present in 300 as well as some truly breathtaking scenes (i.e. Nite Owl and Silk Spectre kissing as a nuclear blast envelopes them). These heroes were far from being carbon copies of ones who came before them as time was spent building up their backstories. By doing this, the audience was shown all the moral dilemmas each Watchmen faced as they struggled in making sense of their own lives both professionally and personally.

But therein lies the catch - 22 of Watchmen, how many audience members are willing to sit through an almost 3 hour film in which the action sequences seem few and far between when compared against a Spider-Man or Batman film? The universe that the Watchmen inhabited certainly was not for the faint of heart (kinda made Gotham City look like Beverly Hills) as the heroes killed indiscriminately, fought amongst each other, and seemed to blur the line between good guy and psycho vigilante from time to time (especially Rorschach). In this way the film challenged the audience to think beyond their normal expectations for a comic book movie and take a journey in which the greatest accomplishments of its heroes were not the apprehension of supervillians or the simple battle of good vs. evil, but the philosophical breakthroughs made when the hero realizes that the world is not pure black and white but a shade of gray which can grow lighter or darker depending upon where you are standing morally.

Watchmen just might be the most literate comic book movie you're likely to run across, which might enthrall some but discourage others.

Grade: B-