Apollo 18: Cool concept, boring film

According to official reports, the last mission to the moon by the United States was Apollo 17. But the recent discovery of footage of classified mission following 17 shows that United States astronauts returned to the moon, and came across something that guaranteed we would never go back.

The parade of found footage/documentary style horror films continues (thanks Netflix for sending me this one (he says sarcastically)) with Apollo 18. And while it suffered from the same lack of character development and sustainable plot/story as The Devil Inside, it featured a number of truly terrifying moments which were amplified by the director's use of the desolate landscape and isolated atmosphere of the moon. It's true that the audience never really got to know the astronauts (to be perfectly honest, each of them had the personality of a wet rag), and perhaps if there were some kind of conflict between Nate, Ben and John the story might have been more interesting, but at least when creepy things started happening on the moon's surface it was easy to get the prickly sensations going up and down one's spine and start to wonder just what kind of fate was waiting for the men of the Apollo 18 mission. These few tense moments were the only things that made the film somewhat watchable.

The atmosphere and look of Apollo 18 certainly helped to make its scares all the more frightening, it's just too bad its story and characters failed to add any value to the film as a whole. 

Grade: D+

The Devil Inside: Save yourself some time and go rent The Exorcist

Four years after her mother killed three clergy people, Isabella travels to Italy to visit her. She is convinced that her mother's actions were not her own four years ago and, with the help of two young priests, she hopes to cure her.

Fashioning itself in the same vein as other recent horror films such as The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity, The Devil Inside presented its story with a documentary/found footage feeling that was meant to keep the audience on edge, wondering if what they were watching was staged or perhaps real. There were points in the film where what was happening to Isabella, Ben and the other characters could certainly make the audience jump, squirm or just shift around in their chair for it was unnerving and disturbing but the filmmakers failed to develop the story into anything more than a series of random scares. They raised the question of, is exorcism real or just mental illness but never bothered to explore it further and fold that into Isabella's quest to understand her mother's condition. Then there was the ending, which was wholly unsatisfying and seemed extremely lazy on the part of director William Brent Bell.

Ultimately, The Devil Inside was nothing more than a schlocky, exploitative horror film that did little more than utilize all the things previously seen in other "exorcism" films (i.e. women tied to beds, speaking in tongues and saying things that would make most sailors blush) without ever distinguishing itself from them. 

Grade: D

Red State: Kevin Smith should stick to comedy

A group of teenage boys travel to the backwoods to answer an online sex ad but little do they know it is a trap set by the extreme religious fundamental group known as the Five Points Church. The group, led by Abin Cooper, has diabolical plans in store not only for the teens, but for any person or group that does not share their beliefs.

It is always interesting when a director who is known for creating a specific type of film does a one hundred and eighty degree turn and tries something completely unlike what has always paid their bills. Such is the case with writer/director Kevin Smith (best known for comedies such as Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, etc.). The subject matter/story of Red State seemed out of character for a man who in his own words has a "predilection toward dick and fart jokes," but with his abilities to create sharp, crackling dialogue, as well as memorable characters and situations, it seemed as though he would be able to deliver a horror film that challenged the genre's conventions and leave the audience shaken but engaged and entertained. Unfortunately Red State felt like a halfhearted attempt with no real scares. Smith was never able to create any memorable characters, with the exception of Abin Cooper (the scene stealing Michael Parks) who was able to entrance the audience with his fervent (and extremely fundamentalistic) beliefs. The rest of the cast felt extremely generic and failed to deliver performances even close to Parks. As a result, the audience failed to connect with any of them and could not feel any real emotion when each was in a life threatening situation. The story and structure of the film made it seem like more of a thriller than a horror film as Smith obviously drew influence from recent real life religious cults/sects to ground it in a reality the audience had a feeling for. However the message that he intended for the audience to take away from the film (eloquently stated by John Goodman near the end) that "people just do the damndest things when they believe" (like Cooper's followers and the silly ATF agents that try to stop them) no doubt fell on deaf ears.

The audience wanted to see a film that would shock them with its powerful storytelling, overabundance of gore or other salacious content, but Kevin Smith's Red State did none of this. It only left the audience wishing that he would write another Jay and Silent Bob movie.

Grade: D 

Scream 4: A return to the good stuff!

Ten years after her last encounter with the Ghostface Killer, Sidney Prescott seems to have finally put herself together. While on tour promoting her new self-help book, she stops by her old hometown of Woodsboro and reconnects with her old friends Dewey, Gale and her niece Jill. But her reappearance also brings about the reappearance of the Ghostface Killer, who seems intent upon finally getting the best of Sidney.

The thing that made the original Scream so groundbreaking was that it broke the rules in regards to horror films. When it was released in 1996, it not only acknowledged that horror films (like Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, etc.) existed, but that there were certain rules that one needed to abide by in order to survive a horror film scenario. The original was also aided by screenwriter Kevin Williamson and director Wes Craven and the immense talent they both brought to the project. The self-reflexive look/story aspect of the film helped to break the mold of the Hollywood horror film (a mold that had existed since the early 1980's and something Craven helped to create with A Nightmare on Elm Street). However, the successive sequels fell victim to the flaws the original skewered and, as a result, lacked the punch and staying power of that original.

But, as with any good horror film franchise, it just could not die and Scream 4 was released nearly 15 years after the first one. Thankfully Craven and Williamson returned to guide the project which does not quite live up to the original (how could it honestly), but has the same spirited scares, laughs, pop culture references and sturdy performances to make it the best sequel in the franchise. Williamson's script kept the audience involved by presenting the mystery of who or whom was responsible for the new Woodsboro killings while giving the characters plenty of opportunities to rift on cultural gems like "the death of horror films" or how cliched the situation they were facing at the time was. Meanwhile Craven was also able to strike a balance between building up the tension as Ghostface stalked his (or her) victims and allowing the audience to breath and chuckle. Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox and David Arquette all pitched in with solid performances, breathing life into the characters that helped get them bigger paychecks when looking for other starring roles, and the youngsters in the cast added a needed jolt of youth and energy (Emma Roberts performance in particular was absorbing).

Scream 4 was a return to the uber-intelligent, fun and self-reflexive horror film ways that made this once fabled horror franchise relevant enough to pass judgement on the horror genre as a whole.

Grade: B

The Last Exorcism

Reverend Cotton Marcus agrees to let a documentary crew follow him as he attempts to show that exorcisms are a fraudulent waste of time. But once they arrive at the Sweetzer home where the Reverend is to perform his final exorcism, they confront an omnious situation that none of them is expecting.

The film was able to deliver a few effective jumps, scares and suspensful moments thanks in large part to the performance of Ashley Bell, who played Nell Sweetzer (the girl that was supposedly possessed). But with the exception of those few moments, The Last Exorcism clunked along, trotting the same well-worn path as other "exorcism" themed horror films of recent memory. The character/story of Cotton Marcus had the chance to make the movie something unique in the genre for his character was a priest who had lost his faith in God and thought exorcisms were a joke. But rather than focusing on that and his possible redemption or rediscovery of faith director Daniel Stamm chose to go the same old route and, instead of a welcomed character-driven horror film, The Last Exorcism became a nasty, exploitative junker with an ending that felt like it was borrowed from another film all together.

If you can stomach another brainless exorcism film that fails to do anything but recycle the same plots, characters, and other elements that have been utilized by previous exorcism movies then The Last Exorcism is right up your alley.

Grade: D

Insidious: Genuinely scary!

Soon after they move into a new house Josh and Renai's son Dalton falls into an unexplainable coma. Not only that but his comatose starts to attract malevolent forces, forcing the family to move into another home in order to escape the torment. But when the malevolent forces follow them to their new house, the family decides that they must fight these evil forces if they want to live a normal life.

It is hard to find horror films nowadays that do not automatically resort to using excessive gore, violence or other exploitative measures to "scare" an audience. And given director James Wan's previous horror outings (Saw and Dead Silence) it is easy to understand why the audience might have expected the same kind of results with his latest effort, Insidious.

Surprisingly enough though, Insidious was able to not only scare the audience without the blood and gore but keep them involved in the story/plot as well. Wan was able to keep the audience on edge by slowly building the tension, giving away just enough story-wise  to make the audience wonder what was keeping Josh (Patrick Wilson) and Renai's (Rose Byrne) son Dalton in a coma or why he and the family were being plagued by evil spirits while at the same time making them scoot just a little closer to the edge of their seats whenever they thought they saw a shadow or Renai thought she heard a noise. It's those kinds of scares/jumps that are legitimately effective as they are things an audience member could experience and maybe even wonder, "was it just the wind or something else?" There were some scares/jumps that could make even the most harden horror film viewer shiver, including one particular scene which was shown in the trailer for the film but still caused goose pimples to run up and down one's spine. Beyond the things that went bump in the night the cast was successful in drawing the audience in emotionally and making them care about what was happening on screen (another rarity for a horror film).

Insidious was a good old-fashioned horror film that did not require buckets of blood or other nastiness to deliver some genuine scares.

Grade: B-

My Soul to Take: My goodness what a bad film

Fifteen years after the serial killer “The Riverton Ripper” was allegedly killed by police a number of teenager, whose birthdays match that fateful day, begin to go missing. Soon people begin to wonder if The Ripper is back and taking revenge or if his soul is somehow responsible for the disappearances.

Once upon a time when one saw the name Wes Craven attached as the director of a film a shiver no doubt went down their spin. For years Craven has directed some of the better horror films released, including A Nightmare on Elm Street and the Scream series, but his newest film My Soul to Take might mark a new career low for it featured a dreadfully befuddling story and absolutely no terrifying or thrilling parts whatsoever. The main villain of the movie, “The Riverton Ripper,” was rarely seen and hardly developed character-wise, like most of the disposable teen cast, which played their cookie-cutter parts as best they could before being dispatched in disappointingly similar fashions.

Without even a decent supporting character to root for the audience had to contend with the perplexingly tedious story, which never had a hint of intrigue and left them wondering why they had wasted an hour and forty minutes of their lives on a horrible film when they could have been doing something better, like watching paint dry.

Grade: D-

Piranha: It could have been worse (I don't know how though!)

Spring break is in full effect at Lake Havasu as partiers take to the water. But when an earthquake releases a pack of ravenous piranha into the scene, things take a turn from fun to deadly.

For at least parts of the film (albeit very small parts), Piranha seemed like it was heading in the right direction with its tone, story and scares. There were quick flashes of wit and humor (which were usually provided by Brooklynn Proulx and Sage Ryan, the two youngest actors in the movie), respectful nods to the original Piranha which inspired this remake and decent bits of acting (or overacting in the case of Jerry O’Connell). It was when director Alexandre Aja decided to turn up the gore factor that Piranha became a tired and clichéd hackney creature feature. Rather than build tension and only give the audience hints about all the horrid things the little fish were doing to their victims, Aja hit them over the head with scene after scene of graphic violence. The main attack that the nasty little title characters inflicted on the various spring breakers near the end of the movie was almost pornographic in its violence, so much so that the audience had to either laugh the whole thing off as utterly ridiculous or turn the film off altogether in disgust. Let’s not even go into the “3D” aspects of the film, which were distracting, underwhelming and awful to say the least.

Films like Piranha shine a true light on the sad state that the horror film genre is in these days with its unoriginality, brutality and silliness.

Grade: D

Paranormal Activity 2: Scary. Yes, it's actually scary.

Dan and Kristi have just welcomed a new baby boy named Hunter into their house. Along with Ali, Dan’s daughter from a previous marriage, and their dog Abby, everything seems wonderful. But when unexplained events start happening in the household, the family must deal with the supernatural forces that are vexing them.

When people hear, “horror film sequel,” they no doubt have visions of Friday the 13th Part 8 or Nightmare on Elm Street Part 5, films that have iconic characters as their villains, but lack in storytelling or even continuity story - wise. In fact, horror sequels such as the ones previously mentioned seem to only be concerned with reusing the same plot devices and storylines (sprinkled with excessive gore and nudity of course). That is why Paranormal Activity 2 was something of a surprise for it was a horror film sequel that not only acknowledged the first Paranormal Activity, but surpassed its predecessor in both scares and story. From the start, director Tod Williams was able to keep the audience both on the edge of their seat and squirming with uneasiness while on that edge for he slowly built the tension in the beginning of the film via subtle knocks and bumps that the family laughed away at first. As the film (whose story cleverly tied to the first in an unexpected surprise) unfurled, the thrills and scares intensified, culminating in an ending that was both startling and disturbing. Another welcome change to this sequel was the lack of gore and blood used to evoke the scares. Williams used those creepy sounds and subtle incidents to make the audience’s imagination fill in the horrifying blanks of what was happening to the family.

You want scary, pick up Paranormal Activity 2. But you might want to think twice before watching it alone.

Grade: B

A Nightmare on Elm Street: One, two, this remake is nothing new!

Nancy and her friends are having problems sleeping. They are being haunted by a man with knives for fingers who has a strong desire to do them harm.

Unfair or not, this film is going to draw comparisons to the 1984 modern masterpiece of the same name by director Wes Craven. The director of the remake, Samuel Bayer, was able to utilize superior sets, subtle CGI and other visual goodies in order to give this version of Nightmare a very slick look and some impressive visuals. Jackie Earle Haley produced his own unique take on the infamous movie monster Freddy Krueger. Whereas Robert Englund’s (the actor who portrayed Freddy in the original) Krueger carried a Joker - ish glee when he stalked the teenagers in the original, Haley was just creepy with a capital "C" and more apt to mangle than crack wise. Even though Haley’s Freddy was more vicious in the remake, there were not many scares to be had as the jumps were predictable and standard for newer horror films (which seem more concerned with showing buckets of blood rather than merely hinting at mayhem and letting the audiences’ imaginations fill in the nasty details). In the end, what separated these two films was the fact that the original had some sustenance behind its story whereas the remake lacked not only in story but in characters as well. The original had an underpinning of social commentary in that the story seemed to be exploring the disintegration of the American household thanks to divorce and other factors unique to the Reagan Era. In order for Nancy’s mother to deal with the implosion of her life, she turned to alcohol and drugs, and expected her daughter to do the same when her friend’s started dying. But Nancy (an ultra whiny but still affective Heather Langenkamp) was willing to take on the problem of facing Freddy and not slip into the bottle. The result of this was that the audience (teenagers for the most part) were better able to relate to Nancy’s struggle for self-preservation and root for her while at the same time have the bejesus scared out of them. The Nancy in the remake (played by Rooney Mara), had little to no personality and, again, the story focused more on the many ways Freddy could dispatch the teens as opposed to drawing in the audience with a substantial story to punctuate the scares.

In light of this, it begs the question, why remake a superior horror film when you cannot hope to top it?

Grade: D+

Zombieland: A breath of fresh air

With a title like Zombieland one would expect to see ghoulish flesh-eating fiends terrorizing innocent victims as a major part of the story (if the filmmakers even decided to put a story in there, I mean, it is a horror film!) But could said film not only contain the standard scary zombie stuff but also fully realized characters and a solid story?

Columbus is heading back to Ohio in the hopes of discovering that his parents are still alive after a plague wiped out most of humankind and turned the rest into zombies with a taste for human flesh. Along the way he runs into other survivors (Tallahassee, Wichita, and Little Rock) whom he decides to tag along with. Together they must not only fight to survive the zombies, but each other as well.

One of the best things about Zombieland were the performances of the lead actors, specifically Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg. Harrelson was a hoot as Tallahassee, a man who reveled in finding his true calling in life (i.e. killing zombies) while blindly obsessing over finding some Twinkies. Eisenberg's paranoid, yet relatable Columbus provided the moral center for the story. His often hilarious rules for surviving Zombieland kept him alive but also kept him from getting what he wanted more than anything in life, a real family and a girl. It's only after he met the other survivors, including a beautiful young woman named Wichita, that he realized the life he was living (essentially as a shut in) made him a zombie in his own right and sometimes rules need to broken in order to get what you want. For a character to undergo that type of development and have said development drive the story is rare to find in most movies nowadays, let alone a horror film. The story was another plus for the film because there was actually one present (and a good one at that). Between the comedic quips and tense action the audience learns that Columbus was not the only one looking for something more in the post-apocalyptic world. Tallahassee's hunt for the elusive Twinkie, Wichita's desire to get her younger sister Little Rock to Pacific Playland amusement park, each was seeking something that seemed normal in an insane world. And by the end of the film, each came to realize that the most normal thing in their lives was the pseudo-family they had formed. I can't remember (if ever) the last time a Freddy Krueger or Michael Myers film dealt with something so simple, yet so real in its story.

When a film is able to breath fresh air into a genre full of staleness and unoriginality, it is a welcome change. Zombieland was that breath of fresh air for it not only provided the type of action and chills the audience was expecting, but also gave them witty dialogue, dynamic characters and a wholly satisfying story.

Grade: A

Trick 'r Treat: If you're looking for a decent horror film, look no further

In the small town of Warren Valley, Ohio the locals are celebrating Halloween. It's during this celebration that four interlocking tales explore all the tricks and treats those residents uncover on All Hallow's Eve.

First time director Michael Dougherty (who also penned the script) did right by making Trick 'r Treat a somewhat unique horror film that did not hang its hat on buckets of blood, a silly story or being another sequel. The interlocking stories lent a breath of creativity in story and character that most horror films seem to be lacking nowadays. By constructing a universe in which stories and characters were the focus and could overlap one another Dougherty was attempting to keep the audience engaged in the goings on in Warren Valley. And while there were times in which the story being shown failed to keep the audience's attention (like the story involving that creepy looking thing on the movie poster to the right, seriously, could someone tell me just who or what that is?) the rest of Trick 'r Treat was awash in frightening moments, surprisingly dark humor and a great misdirect involving the story of Laurie (the always effective Anna Paquin) which one would have been hard pressed to see coming but was completely satisfying nonetheless. The most outstanding part of the film was the "school bus massacre" story. Built upon a local urban legend in which a group of "special" children were killed in a bus accident (an accident which they avenge later on in the film in rather nasty fashion) this section featured everything a good horror film needs; moody lighting, good characters, tension, excellent dialogue and a twist at the end which grabbed you by the gut and twisted just for kicks. In this age of useless sequels and mindless gorefest it's a shame that a story like the "school bus massacre" is relegated to being only part of a film instead of its own stand alone feature.

Trick 'r Treat fits with the particular season we are in at the moment (it is October after all). It was original, creepy, scary, funny and accomplished being all of those things by not resorting to the tired "Saw" method of overwhelming the audience with blood and gore in lieu of good filmmaking.

Grade: B-

Final Destination 3: Good, mindless fun

Wendy has a premonition that she will die on a rollercoaster ride she is about ready to take. But after it actually crashes, she and the others who got off the doomed ride must face a terrible truth. Death has a plan, and no one escapes from it when it’s their time.

Before you pass this off as another in the long line of made-to-order teen horror flicks take into consideration the fact that that was exactly what the filmmakers wanted Final Destination 3 to be. A group of stereotypical (i.e. a smart, virginal “final” girl, the dumb jock, the goth girl, etc) teens are lined up and offed in ways that must have taken the screenwriter and stunt people months to dream up. The most thrilling sequence in the film had to be the opening part where the characters take an unforgettable ride on the damned rollercoaster which will make you sweat the next time you’re in a line at a Six Flags. The improbability in the ways some of the characters were killed could leave non-horror film aficionados rolling their eyes or perhaps they could start griping about how they have seen this film before because it’s basically the same story as the first two Final Destinations and a million other horror films. The only originality this film was concerned with was finding newer, more shocking ways to dispose of people.

Another feature which made this film fun to watch was that the dvd was interactive. Audiences are able to “choose the fate” of the characters and watch what would have happened if they were in charge of who lives and who dies by selecting a special option on the disc. It’s kinda like those old Choose Your Own Adventure books you read as a kid, except this time if you choose wrong, blood will be spilt.

Grade: C

Shaun of the Dead: A zombie comedy.

Now here's an interesting take on the zombie film! Shaun of the Dead is a zombie comedy which was able to take those typical genre conventions one would expect in a film about the living dead and turn them on their heads.

Shaun is just like every other regular guy out there. He’s stuck in a dead end job, has a girlfriend that wants him to be more than he is and has a roommate that is permanently attached to the couch playing video games. He is trying to make sense of his life but there is the little complication of a horde of zombies attempting to kill him and the people his loves.

The story of Shaun (played to the hilt by Simon Pegg) and his attempts to change and understand what exactly he wanted to do with his life was what carried the film and made it a kick to watch. Before he even faced down his first zombie, he was dealing with problems most people must grapple with; dead end job, girlfriend who wanted him to change and be something more and an overall directionless life. The zombies, while the main villains of the film, were also the things that spurred along Shaun’s attempts to change. What also propped this film above other zombie movie was It was how the director, Edgar Wright, made sure to show how all the regular people around Shaun’s neighborhood acted like zombies before they actually turned. His little social commentary went a long way in framing the world Shaun and friends lived and our own by extension (take a look at the person in the cubicle next to you at work and you'll see what I mean).

Shaun of the Dead was thick with laughs throughout, (usually provided by Shaun’s lazy flat mate Ed), and contained the typical blood and gore one would expect in a horror film.

Grade: B

Audition: Seriously, this one is....tough to watch.

I used to be a big horror film fan (I say used to because as I grow older I find that I just do not have the stomach for them anymore or at least the ones that have no plot and only wish to fill the screen with as much blood and carnage as possible). After watching all the Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street films, I thought there was no horror film that could get to me. And then I rented this film and, as the title of this post says, even I found it tough to watch.

Shigeharu has been living as a widower for far too long in the eyes of his family and friends. So in order to obtain a new wife with all of the qualities he seeks, he holds a fake movie audition. It is during this process that he meets Asami, a seemingly perfect woman. But there’s more to Asami than he could ever imagine.

Even days after you’ve watched the final moments of Audition, you are terrorized by the whole endeavor. What starts off as a faux romantic comedy devolved into a disturbing psychological thriller/horror film whose context and imagery will forever be burned into a viewers’ mind (especially male viewers). And it was this startling turn in tone that hit the viewer like a sucker punch for they cared for both Shigeharu and Asami, wanted them to fall in love and live happily ever after but wound up realizing, like Shigeharu, that you can never judge a book by its cover, even the most delicate flower can have a penchant for garrote wire and torture. One of the film's bigger missteps was the number of times it tried to misdirect the audience with dream sequences posed as reality. Audition ask a lot of the audience just with its visual content alone, and to play with their emotions in that way seemed unfair. A quick word of warning, if you thought the actions and reactions in Fatal Attraction were harsh, you should stay away from this movie for it takes you to a level so far beyond boiling a bunny that you honestly have to remind yourself, “it’s only a movie."

Grade: C