The Expendables: Clever homage or silly excuse for explosions?

Barney Ross leads a ragtag group of mercenaries called The Expendables that take on assignments most teams would not. Their latest, however, might be their last as they are tasked with overthrowing a tyrannical South American despot with shady ties to a group of Americans.

It is unclear if writer/director Sylvester Stallone intended The Expendables to be a cleverly disguised homage to the kind of action films that made him a megastar in the 1980’s, given the fact that the story was as thin and transparent as the moustache drawn on his face and that there were more explosions in the final fifteen minutes of the movie than a person sees in a typical round of Call of Duty: Black Ops, or if it was a “serious” attempt to create a slick and entertaining action film. However one chooses to interpret it (I prefer the “homage” take personally), The Expendables delivered the goods and provided enough gun/fist fights, explosions, and continual violence to satiate action fans of any and all age. The all star cast surrounding Stallone (including names like Jet Li and Dolph Lundgren) played their parts well but Sly was right to focus parts of the film on his co-star (and seeming replacement as the new action film leading man) Jason Statham. There is only miniscule development in both he and Stallone’s characters, but it is enough to pique the audiences’ curiosity and give their ear drums a rest before the next round of deafening explosions and gun play started. The part that truly helped to make the film watchable were the cameos by two of Stallone’s follow action hero icons, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger. The verbal jabs that Sly and Arnold exchanged were enough to have most in the audience rolling in the aisles.

This film is destined to become a staple on the cable channel Spike TV because it is the prototypical guy film.

Grade: C

Predators: Finally, a sequel that delivers!

A group of warriors are dropped into the jungle of an alien world with no explanation. But soon after they realize that they were brought there for a nefarious purpose, to be hunted. If they want to survive, they’ll need to band together and fight off their hunters.

No one expects to go into a film such as Predators and see Shakespearian style acting and storytelling. For the most part, an audience is just looking to be entertained for an hour and forty-five minutes. Not only did Predators have to capture the attention of people new to the film series, but it also carried the extra burden of having to satisfy fanboys and girls of the Predator franchise who had suffered through two lousy Alien Vs. Predator films and were ready for something good.

Thankfully, the fanboys and girls have no reason to fear this new take. Under the watchful eye of Producer (and Predator fan) Robert Rodriguez, director Nimrod Antal delivered a highly entertaining action movie with an effective mix of homage to the Schwarzenegger classic to go along with new characters, environments and creatures. Adrien Brody is no Schwarzenegger, but he more than held his own as Royce, a former Black Ops soldier turned mercenary whose sole purpose in the beginning of the film was to get off the planet, with or without the help of the others. His character seemed to mirror, in a broader sense, that of the current “Me” generation that has to tweet their every move and then post a clip of what they did on You Tube moments later. Schwarzenegger’s Dutch was a soldier, a leader, so his struggle to defeat the Predator in the original made it easy for an audience to pull for him. With Royce, there needed to be some internal conflict in which he was given the opportunity to possibly change and grow from a selfish bastard into a redeemable man an audience would root for. His dilemma of staying a self-interested mercenary or teaming up with the other “targets” (including the beautiful Alice Braga as Isabelle, an IDF sniper) formed the emotional backdrop to the story and succeeded in further sucking in the audience when they were not busy squirming in their seats as Antal effectively built the tension throughout the movie.

Predators is a welcome return to what made the original such a blast to watch.

Grade: B

Gamer: I liked it better when it was called "The Running Man"

In the year 2034 a large scale online game called “Slayers” allows people to control convicted felons and them face off in a life or death struggle. But a wrongfully convicted soldier named Kable looks to change this by bringing down the online worlds’ evil architect, a man named Castle.

From its chaotic beginning, which dumped the audience into one of the online Slayer battlefields and left them to dangle as they tried to figure out just what was happening, to the obscenely pornographic levels of violence throughout the multiple battles Kable (a sadly underutilized Gerard Butler) went through in order to get to Castle and gain his freedom, Gamer was an absolute mess of a film which failed to be entertaining. The only thing the directors (there’s your first sign that a movie is not going to be Oscar worthy, the need for two directors) seemed interested in was trying to show newer ways to dispatch human lives. There were no redeeming qualities to the characters, no logic to the story or any remarkable special effects.

If you’re looking for a film that somewhat successfully entertains an audience while positing and even attempting to answer the big moral question of whether allowing prisoners to win their freedom by participating in a death match for the amusement of the masses, check out 1987’s The Running Man with Arnold Schwarzenegger and keep a safe distance from Gamer.

Grade: D-

Predator: "Get to the Chopper!"

It's a shame that when people think about the Predator franchise nowadays, they are forced to relive those terrible AVP movies that have been released recently. The original Predator is a film which more than holds its own against recent action films and remains quite the fun movie to watch over and over again (if only to hear Schwarzenegger utter that memorable line that is in the title of this review).

In a Central American jungle a group of highly trained military men are searching for missing hostages. But something is hunting them, something not of this earth. This other worldly hunter is looking for some trophies and has the rescue team in its sights.

One of the best things about the film was its non-stop action. From dropping into the jungle behind enemy lines to the assault by Dutch (Schwarzenegger) and his men on the guerrilla camp where they believe the hostages are being held, the action was impressive and intense. But the main attraction of the film had to have been the Predator itself. By only showing bits and pieces of it throughout the first half of the film director John McTiernan was able to build the tension and made the audience feel like Dutch and the others, like they were being stalked by some ghastly creature. When the Predator was finally fully revealed it no doubt shocked and awed the audience for it looked exceedingly vicious and deadly but also looked like something that might come from another planet. Not a CGI construct, the Predator creature was real and scary as hell. As Dutch, the leader of the rescue squad, Schwarzenegger did a good job doing what he seems to do best by kicking butt while delivering one liners.

There were no introspective moments by Dutch as to the horrors of warfare and no desire to try and negotiate with the Predator. The film was all about big explosions and a high body count. It was easy to turn off your brain and enjoy the show.

Grade: B

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines: No McG, three was enough.

It seems as though there is a lot of mixed emotion for Terminator fans concerning this film. They either love it (like me) or hate it (like my friends, who almost seem to question my sanity when I tell them why I thought it was a good film), there is no middle ground. One thing I'm sure they could all agree upon though, when you make a Terminator film, you should probably use Mr. Swarzenegger for more than just a virtual "cameo" appearance (see Terminator Salvation for an example of this).

John Connor thought he had stopped Judgement Day, but soon he discovers that was not the case. Once again the future leader of the war against machines is being pursued by one, a T-X model more than capable of destroying him. But he is aided by a familiar face in a T-101 Terminator model, (much like the one that helped him before), and a woman named Kate Brewster. Together they hope to once again avert the total destruction of the human race.

Like the two Terminator films which preceded it, Rise of the Machines was chock full of amazing gun battles, fight sequences and some truly astounding car chases. Arnold Schwarzenegger provided his usual Terminator-like performance and Kristanna Loken heated up the screen as the T-X, a terminator most men would enjoy being chased by (except for what would happen to them once she caught them, yikes!). But unlike most big budget action films, it had a compelling story to counterbalance the intensity of the action. The story connected elements of the first two films and expanded upon them as the audience discovered things such as the fate of Sarah Connor (John’s mom) and why Kate was so important to John’s future. Indeed John and Kate, and their adventure, were the main component of the film’s story. Both Nick Stahl as John and Claire Danes as Kate did outstanding jobs in making their characters believable and personable. One of the best parts of the film was the finale which could have caught some viewers off guard if they weren’t paying close enough attention throughout. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines was a triumphant addition to a fine series of films.

Grade: B