Battleship: Seriously, you could do worse

While participating in International Naval war games in Hawaii, a fleet of ships run into an alien armada who intend to conquer the earth. The ships and their respective crews must work together in order to stop this from happening.

A movie based off of a board game seems like a silly idea on paper and director Peter Berg's Battleship certainly does nothing to curb that line of thinking for it was a loud, inane summer popcorn action flick with barely enough story and character to make it sub-standard at best. It is not the worst thing to come out of Hollywood in recent years, in fact, the action and special effects looked and sounded great (guess they spent some of that purported $200 million dollar budget on something worthwhile, too bad it wasn't a script) but there was nothing beyond those special effects and action sequences to give the film life or intelligence. This lack of story, plot, or characters has led many critics to make comparisons of Battleship to the Transformers films (which, oddly enough are produced also by Hasbro). Critics have long chided the director the Transformers films, Michael Bay, for perpetuating the effects laden/story lacking films that Hollywood seems to turn out anymore. In some ways, they are right to do so. The Transformers film series peaked with the original in regards to presenting a whole film, with story and characters to go along with the special effects, and the only reason that happened was Bay had to establish the characters that were going to be around for those two sequels (well, Megan Fox only did one more but I don't think her "acting" ability was missed in the third one). The sequels were either brainless (Transformers 2) or had such stunning special effects, no one seemed to care about the terrible acting or story. Battleship felt like a mash up between those two films, it had a poorly constructed story with holes in the plot big enough to sail a destroyer through and a lead actor in Taylor Kitsch who lacked the screen presence (or acting chops in general) to lead a big budget summer film. Still, those special effects and other visual goodies (to go along with a twist at the climax of the film which featured some real American heroes) throughout provided enough entertainment to at least keep the audience engaged.

Don't believe the hype, Battleship wasn't so terrible that you won't be entertained at some points, it just lacked the intelligence and story to make it anything more than a brainless summer popcorn action flick.

Grade: C- 

Apollo 18: Cool concept, boring film

According to official reports, the last mission to the moon by the United States was Apollo 17. But the recent discovery of footage of classified mission following 17 shows that United States astronauts returned to the moon, and came across something that guaranteed we would never go back.

The parade of found footage/documentary style horror films continues (thanks Netflix for sending me this one (he says sarcastically)) with Apollo 18. And while it suffered from the same lack of character development and sustainable plot/story as The Devil Inside, it featured a number of truly terrifying moments which were amplified by the director's use of the desolate landscape and isolated atmosphere of the moon. It's true that the audience never really got to know the astronauts (to be perfectly honest, each of them had the personality of a wet rag), and perhaps if there were some kind of conflict between Nate, Ben and John the story might have been more interesting, but at least when creepy things started happening on the moon's surface it was easy to get the prickly sensations going up and down one's spine and start to wonder just what kind of fate was waiting for the men of the Apollo 18 mission. These few tense moments were the only things that made the film somewhat watchable.

The atmosphere and look of Apollo 18 certainly helped to make its scares all the more frightening, it's just too bad its story and characters failed to add any value to the film as a whole. 

Grade: D+

The Devil Inside: Save yourself some time and go rent The Exorcist

Four years after her mother killed three clergy people, Isabella travels to Italy to visit her. She is convinced that her mother's actions were not her own four years ago and, with the help of two young priests, she hopes to cure her.

Fashioning itself in the same vein as other recent horror films such as The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity, The Devil Inside presented its story with a documentary/found footage feeling that was meant to keep the audience on edge, wondering if what they were watching was staged or perhaps real. There were points in the film where what was happening to Isabella, Ben and the other characters could certainly make the audience jump, squirm or just shift around in their chair for it was unnerving and disturbing but the filmmakers failed to develop the story into anything more than a series of random scares. They raised the question of, is exorcism real or just mental illness but never bothered to explore it further and fold that into Isabella's quest to understand her mother's condition. Then there was the ending, which was wholly unsatisfying and seemed extremely lazy on the part of director William Brent Bell.

Ultimately, The Devil Inside was nothing more than a schlocky, exploitative horror film that did little more than utilize all the things previously seen in other "exorcism" films (i.e. women tied to beds, speaking in tongues and saying things that would make most sailors blush) without ever distinguishing itself from them. 

Grade: D